I just realised.
I don’t use Tumblr much anymore. 2 jobs. 3 bands, one of which is potentially playing three weeks of warped in America next year and is apparently having our stuff pitched to universal records this week. Running a charity. Sorting out moving with my best friend. All the things I want are happening. But I’ve no time for any of it or the other things I want in life.
Is there anyone you would want to start over with if you were given the chance?
Not really anymore. I’m an emotionless piece of shit so if I have to get over something I can usually do it quite quickly and not look back.
"You were the hardest lesson I ever had to learn."
It's not nice knowing someone is falling apart but as you said you're stubborn. Obviously you know how you deal with things by now so I hope you feel better as soon as possible.
Doubt I will, but thanks, I guess.
Why can't you talk to anyone about it? How can you fix it but not fix it? Oh and in my opinion it's probably worse that you're forcing yourself to fall apart...
Because that’s how I am, stuck in my ways. I know how to help myself by talking to someone, but at the same time I struggle to talk to people about my problems.
I'm glad you're feeling better physically. I know it's shitty and difficult to talk to someone but it might help sort out what's going on in your head or find another way of letting it out. You can't keep carrying stuff with you everywhere you go, it's probably already started destroying you, just don't let it get worse. You owe yourself that.
Unfortunately, I can’t talk to anyone about this. And yeah, I know, I’m already falling apart in my head, but I’m quite stubborn and set in my ways about things and until it basically breaks me, I don’t think I’ll learn otherwise. I’m not sure what’s worse, knowing that I’m falling apart or knowing that I can fix it but at the same time I can’t.